Earlier this week, George Floyd was murdered by police in our adopted city of Minneapolis, Minnesota. It has been a difficult and heavy week, with the days since that murder filled with protests – some peaceful and some causing great destruction – and a lot of soul searching by so many of us who have to do better.
Tonight marks nearly one week since George Floyd was murdered. In response to the rioting that started in the days after his death, Minneapolis residents have a strict curfew from 8 p.m. to 6 a.m., many of our highways are closed, more than 4,000 Minnesota National Guard Members are occupying our streets, and there are currently helicopters flying over our house.
I am hopeful that this awful event leads to change.
“Show up, Clean up” Minneapolis
Yesterday, we joined thousands of people down on Lake Street with Support the Cities to help clean up after the fires and destruction that took place Friday night into early Saturday morning. We parked at the Midtown Global Market, where we collected several trash bags, and we walked, holding our brooms, dustpans, and shovels, down towards the Minneapolis Third Police Precinct. The walk is about a mile and a half, and as we walked, every single store was boarded up and covered in graffiti.
We stopped at the Hi-Lake Shopping Center to help clean up glass and ash from the buildings that were still burning. There were clusters of people working at each of the different stores that together made up the shopping center. We found ourselves working in front of a building in the corner that held a business that we couldn’t identify. The only thing I knew about it was that there used to be a computer there because I scraped the melted keyboard off the sidewalk out front. From time to time, volunteers around us would point up at the wood beams above that were still burning with small flames. They were noticing the metal beam that used to decorate the shopping center’s facade precariously resting on the wood piece that was burning.
It was eerie working in such close quarters to a burning building. Earlier this year a large swath of a block in our neighborhood burned down. In the days and weeks after the fire the sidewalks were closed and the buildings were surrounded by large chain-link fences so no one would enter. Here, people were standing in or near buildings that still had visible flames, and were still smoldering.
Once we had filled up several garbage bags and cleaned up as much of the area as we could – aside from the debris that had melted into the concrete walkway that we couldn’t scrape off – we continued walking. Our destination was further down Lake Street toward Hiawatha Avenue, where some of the most extensive fire damage in the city took place.
The entire way, we passed thousands of people who were sweeping up glass, helping to board up any remaining businesses, scrubbing graffiti off the walls, and doing anything else they could.
After we crossed Hiawatha Avenue, we arrived at the heart of the fire damage. To our left was the Target that was looted. It had the burned and skeletal remains of two semi-truck trailers in the loading docks. Those same loading docks were flooded with water, either from the fire department or from sprinklers inside the building. The charred remains of a car could also be seen behind the store.
To the right, there was a building that had burned all the way to the ground. The only reason we knew it was an Arby’s was because of its half-burned sign that stood watching guard dozens of feet in the air. A little further down Lake Street on the right was the Minneapolis Police Department Third Precinct which was also burned, and across from that was the AutoZone that was flattened by fire. The largest wall remaining at the AutoZone had huge graffitied letters on the side with the words “I can’t breathe,” one of the many tributes we saw during our walk reminding us that this all started when the police murdered George Floyd.
Just past the AutoZone and the Third Precinct, there were skeletons of brick facades that used to be buildings. Up to this point, we hadn’t seen a single police officer, fireman, or EMS personnel. Near the remains of Midori’s Floating World Cafe and El Nuevo Rodeo, there was a man who was playing the role that authorities typically would; repeatedly shouting for people to “walk-wide” when crossing 27th Ave. S. in an effort to keep people safe from a precarious building facade that could crumble at any moment.
We spent a few minutes looking around, felt overwhelmed, and realized it was time to make the walk back to our car.
A somber soundtrack
When we made it back to the intersection at Lake Street and Hiawatha Avenue, I started to hear music from behind me, Andra Day’s “Rise Up.”
“You're broken down and tired Of living life on a merry go round And you can't find the fighter But I see it in you so we gonna walk it out And move mountains We gonna walk it out And move mountains And I'll rise up I'll rise like the day I'll rise up I'll rise unafraid I'll rise up And I'll do it a thousand times again And I'll rise up High like the waves I'll rise up In spite of the ache I'll rise up And I'll do it a thousands times again For you For you For you For you When the silence isn't quiet And it feels like it's getting hard to breathe And I know you feel like dying But I promise we'll take the world to its feet And move mountains We'll take it to its feet And move mountains And I'll rise up I'll rise like the day I'll rise up I'll rise unafraid I'll rise up And I'll do it a thousand times again For you For you For you For you All we need, all we need is hope And for that we have each other And for that we have each other We will rise We will rise We'll rise, oh oh We'll rise I'll rise up Rise like the day I'll rise up In spite of the ache I will rise a thousands times again And we'll rise up Rise like the waves We'll rise up In spite of the ache We'll rise up And we'll do it a thousands times again For you oh oh oh oh oh For you oh oh oh oh oh For you oh oh oh oh oh For you”
I had done a good job up to that point of not crying, but seeing the devastation and having it accompanied by the lyrics challenging me to “rise up,” proved to be too much. Tears rolled down my face as we continued to walk back west towards our car. The music followed us, clearly being played by a person walking in the same direction.
After “Rise Up” finished, another song came on with lyrics talking about revolution and wondering why things are the way they are. It was a melodic song I’d never heard before, but the message it spoke was perfect for our somber walk.
We continued to walk down Lake Street, reading the signs and graffiti along the way. We saw business owners who’d spray-painted their boarded-up windows with “Black Owned Business” or “Minority Owned Business” in the hopes of deterring their property from harm. We saw lots of tributes to George Floyd and #BlackLivesMatter. We saw a lot of anger at police with “F*** 12” painted. And, we saw frustration with Minnesota.
The entire time, we had a sort-of soundtrack to accompany our walk. Next up, was the voice of Martin Luther King, Jr. It rang out from a large speaker that I had finally determined was being carried by a young black woman; her hand braced on top of her head holding her speaker in an effort to broadcast her playlist to those surrounding her.
She was playing “I have a dream.”
“It would be fatal for the nation to overlook the urgency of the moment. This sweltering summer of the Negro’s legitimate discontent will not pass until there is an invigorating autumn of freedom and equality. Nineteen sixty-three is not an end, but a beginning. And those who hope that the Negro needed to blow off steam and will now be content will have a rude awakening if the nation returns to business as usual. And there will be neither rest nor tranquility in America until the Negro is granted his citizenship rights. The whirlwinds of revolt will continue to shake the foundations of our nation until the bright day of justice emerges.”
Martin Luther King, Jr.
We got back to our car and the quiet tears turned into sobs.
There were so many emotions hitting at once.
- The devastation that I saw with my eyes, but for reasons I understood.
- The grief of watching a white man – a man hired to PROTECT and SERVE – so callously and uncaringly snuff the life out of George Floyd.
- The overwhelming number of businesses along Lake Street – some of our favorites – with broken glass and damage from people angry after years of being treated as less-than, and by opportunists whose only goal is to create chaos and generate more division.
- The feeling of helplessness that comes along with the steep and difficult path to changing our society that has such hate and racism embedded into it.
- The guilt that my white privilege doesn’t allow me to understand even a little bit about what my BIPOC neighbors go through and have gone through for generations. And the guilt that I haven’t done enough to make it better during my 34 years.
- The anger that so many people who look like me have done such terrible things for so long.
- The desperation to do something to fix this.
An evening on edge
We made it home and were totally wrung out. Unfortunately, we also felt some unease and anxiety about the night that was to come.
Everything we were hearing and seeing on the news was that Saturday night was going to be the worst night yet. So far, we hadn’t seen much destruction in our sweet little neighborhood in Northeast Minneapolis, but we live only a few blocks away from the Second Police Precinct, and we weren’t sure if that was going to be a target. We also live just two blocks off a main Minneapolis street, which is lined with businesses owned by immigrants and BIPOC.
Throughout the afternoon and into early evening, we received emails and alerts from the City of Minneapolis with a list of things we should do to prepare for the evening.
- Put your garbage cans inside the garage
- Put your grill inside your garage
- Make sure your hose is attached and at the ready
- Make sure to leave your house lights on
- Reach out to your neighbors so you can keep in contact if anything should happen
- If you see anyone coming towards your house or acting suspicious, make lots of noise such as banging on pots and pans.
We hunkered down early before it was even dark out. It was something we had become used too during the pandemic – the one that is still going on but currently on the back burner.
I got a text message from a friend. She asked, “How was it helping with the cleanup today?” and I responded with one word. “Emotional.”
Then I went on to send another message. “It was good to see literally thousands of people out helping, but on the flip side, it was frustrating that it was needed. And in all honesty, grabbing a broom is the easy part – the part that has a beginning and an end – but the harder stuff, addressing the hate and racism, isn’t that easy. And I hope everyone that had a broom also is working on those more intangible things.”
As a way to soothe our nerves, we attempted to watch Netflix, but we were too distracted. Instead, we found a live-stream of WCCO a local Minneapolis television station, and watched as reporters were arrested, shot with rubber bullets and tear gas. We watched peaceful protests get broken up by aggressive officers. And, we watched as news broke around the country of protests for George Floyd, and unfortunately, violence from police officers took center stage.
At about 10 p.m., I heard a loud vehicle approaching. We live on a quiet, residential street several miles from the areas where most of the protests were taking place, so it seemed odd to have anything other than a car or a motorcycle go by. I quickly saw that it was the start of a National Guard convoy. More than a dozen of what I can only call military semi-trucks drove down our street, some with their back trailers loaded with goods, some empty, and three or four liquid tankers with “Flammable” written on the side.
We assumed they were going to the police precinct just a few blocks away.
Just like all the nights before, we stayed up into the early morning hours watching the news unfold and holding our breath. But, it was quieter last night. We eventually went to bed after 2 p.m. and I was woken up several times by the sounds of helicopters whirring over our house.
Finding my words with music
Music has always had a healing power for me, and I’ve been replaying two songs this week in my head. Mavis Staples is a musical legend, and we were lucky enough to see her when she opened for Brandi Carlile last fall at the Minnesota State Fair. At 80 years old, she still put on a heck of a show, and one of her songs, “Build a Bridge,” has been on my mind.
“Look around at our city Look at us out on the street Got kids looking over their shoulders People looking down at their feet. I’m tired of us living so lonely I hope I know what to do Gonna build a bridge right over the ocean I’m coming right over for you. When I say my life matters You can say yours does too But I betcha never have to remind anyone To look at it from your point of view…”
Mavis has marched with MLK, and at 80 years old, she is still singing about the same problems that they were marching about decades ago. I remember instantly being moved by that second verse about her life mattering, and it has stuck with me since.
The second song that has resonated is called “Orpheus,” by Sara Bareilles.
“Come by the fire Lay down your head My love I see you're growing tired so set the bad day by the bed And rest a while Your eyes can close You don't have to do a thing but listen to me sing I know You miss the world The one you knew The one where everything made sense because you didn't know the truth That's how it works 'Til the bottom drops out And you learn we're all just hunters seeking solid ground Don't stop Trying to find me here amidst the chaos Though I know it's blinding There's a way out Say out loud We will not give up on love now No fear Don't you turn like Orpheus Just stay here Hold me in the dark and when the day appears We'll say We did not give up on love today…”
The idea that I miss the world I thought I knew is so apt.
In the days after the 2016 election, I walked around in a fog, not understanding how so many millions of my countrymen could elect Trump. I am stumbling through that same fog now, for the Minneapolis, the Minnesota, I thought I knew. But it isn’t that this hate is new, it is that my privilege didn’t and wouldn’t allow me to see it.
I have so much work to do. We all do.
Resources
There are two distinct ways that I am trying to approach everything that has happened these last seven days.
- A focus on helping with the events that have transpired after George Floyd was killed.
- A focus on working to improve the root of the problem that allowed George Floyd to be killed.
The first part is the easier part. It includes things I have done in this past week: donations (food, supplies, and money), volunteering, protesting, calling people in power and demanding action, signing petitions, etc. You can find a long list here of ways to help.
But the second part is going to take a lot of work at an individual level and then disseminate to the broader public; the work to change the root of the problem. The hate, racism, and inequality that is endemic to our society.
Knowledge is power and like Maya Angelou said “Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.” Here are some ways to get to know better.
- Here is a list of 75 Things White People Can Do For Racial Justice
- A few books to read from An Essential Anti-Racist Reading List
- Another Antiracist Reading List, this one from the NY Times
- One more book list on Anti-racism
- Find BIPOC who you can learn from. I was recently turned on to Rachel Cargle and I plan to watch some of her lectures and participate in the Anti-Racism Workshop.
- Follow organizations doing work around racial equity and justice including: Antiracist Research and Policy Center, Audre Lorde Project, Black Women’s Blueprint, Color of Change, Colorlines, The Conscious Kid, Equal Justice Initiative, Families Belong Together, The Leadership Conference on Civil and Human Rights, Muslim Girl, MPower Change, NAACP, National Domestic Workers Alliance, RAICES, Showing up for Racial Justice (SURJ), SisterSong, Southern Poverty Law Center, United We Dream, and more.
- Watch movies, listen to podcasts, and read articles about racial justice – there is a fantastic list found here
- Start a book club or a text message chain with friends to hold each other accountable. Share things you have learned, or things you are stil trying to wrap your head around
If you have any other suggestions, I would love to hear them. Now, let’s get to work.
